Thursday, September 6, 2018

three months a bostonian

It's about time I brought a few updates over here.

The quick version: I graduated from BYU in April and moved to Boston in June to work for SHIFT Communications as a post-graduate intern. I serve as the Relief Society pianist

You can follow my daily updates on Instagram @ThePRGrad.



Now for the longer version.

This move across the country has been exactly what I had hoped and expected and secretly didn't want to bring upon myself. I love being entirely on my own and discovering my own resourcefulness. Work challenges me to keep up my skills from college while also building an entirely new knowledge base. The strength of the members of the Church out here has been the biggest blessing. Living in the middle of so much American history is a dream come true.

Then we have the hard times. I'm currently in between housing, living off the hospitality of others. The decisions of grad school and working full-time and career paths are all staring me straight in the face. New friends are wonderful but still not at the point of my core Utah group. Vulnerability has never been my strong suit; I'm a much better listener than sharer. Uncomfortable questions, waiting in coffee shops, relying entirely on other people is becoming my norm.

Work is fulfilling, yet also tedious. It sometimes feels like I will never get out of this cycle of never-ending internships. I have to constantly remind myself to think a little more different and find innovative ways to approach the same old scans, emails, social posts and tracking that I do every single day.

I have felt the pangs of homesickness and loneliness more than I ever imagined I would. My weaknesses are revealing themselves more prominently, making me forget my strengths every now and again. Personal confidence has been shattered and glued back together and then broken all over again. I've never felt so fragile or uncertain outside of my physical health problems.

In the midst of all of these realities, I'm finding little pieces of joy. Boston is absolutely beautiful when it's not a million degrees outside. Everything is so green. I can dedicate more time and mental energy to studying the scriptures and words of living prophets. New friends are able to connect on a deeper level because school and boy drama are no longer the norm of conversation. I'm finally working through my booklist during the commute to and from work. I've enjoyed a few thunderstorms and beautiful evenings on the porch. The hints of fall are in the air, and I cannot wait for the colors to hit New England.

Every member of my ward tells me, "Boston will break you and then build you up again."

As I'm in the middle of the breaking portion of my Boston experience, I have been touched by the goodness of people and of our Heavenly Father. I have been reminded of my divine identity and purpose. I have felt encircled in the arms of His love. I have learned the importance of acting in faith, especially when it means taking some terrifying steps into the dark. I have witnessed angels sent in answers to tearful prayers. I have felt my Savior's hand take mine to lead me along. I am slowly learning how to recognize my Heavenly Father's will for me.

That's more than anyone ever wanted to know.

In short, I simply want to testify that God is in the details of the details of the details. When we choose to see Christ in every aspect of our daily lives, He is there. We are never alone, though sometimes Heavenly Father withholds answers to allow us to own our decisions. How He loves us.

"I learned this, at least, by my experiment: that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours." -Henry David Thoreau, a fellow Bostonian

I look forward to those coming hours.

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