Cancer Free is the Way to Be (and Stay)!

It's been forever since I last posted, so I figured I'd better do that.

First off, chemo is done and the cancer is still gone!Hallelujah! My CT scan was on Wednesday and the doctor says that all is well - except for one irritated, but non-cancerous, lymph node, but she just wants to watch it. My heart biopsy last Thursday was totally perfect as well! So transplant just wants to see us in one month at clinic for an echo and EKG, and the oncologist says we don't need another scan for three months!!! I do have to get labs done every week or so, but those are really easy.

So, of course, with this all being over and done with, I have little fuzzies growing on my head :) that are fun to feel for. They actually look blond, so it will be interesting to see what my hair grows in to look like.

The youth in my ward planned a surprise party, so my Young Women's president came up to the door just as I had switched into my comfy sweats and taken my wig off - putting it on the banister that you can see through the front door window, so she was a little freaked out when she first saw that :) She came in and warned me that people were coming, so I raced to get my wig back on. It was really fun! We played a form of pictionary where everyone wrote down something they were grateful for and then we used those words. I wrote down my wig :) They got ice cream cake for everyone - chocolate cake on the bottom with mint chocolate chip ice cream on top! Yummy! I love ice cream cake! It was such a blast and so great for them all to think of me. My one leader got balloons - black and yellow - and put bees on them along with writing B+ on them as well. We had to explain that one to everyone - most of them didn't know about my blog. It was so cute! Since I hadn't seen anyone in a while (I'd just returned to Church that Sunday) it was great to hang out with everyone! Thanks!

To celebrate, we went out to dinner at California Pizza Kitchen - probably my favorite restaurant. I absolutely LOVE their Thai Chicken Pizza. Then Mom and Dad gave me tickets to go see the Dancing Horses up in Wisconsin tomorrow! I'm SO excited!! The whole family is going, and we're going to spend the day up there, do some food storage shopping, and head back down for the ward Halloween party.

The story behind the Dancing Horses: Most of you know I'm a horse nut. I love pretty much anything to do with anything about horses (one of my favorite movies is Dreamer with Dakota Fanning). So over the summer, this show came to Chicago called Cavalia - it's basically the same thing as Dancing Horses, but it's a higher-profile, Cirque-du-Soleil type acrobatics on horseback. Of course, I was in the hospital the entire time it was here, and the tickets were outrageously expensive. So, even though my siblings are a bit skeptical about seeing horses dance, I am way excited! I've wanted to see these types of horses for years and I can't wait!!!!

After going out to dinner and opening up the tickets, Mom shared the story of the memorial made by the tribes of Israel after they crossed the river Jordan on dry ground. She wanted to make something that would be a memorial for us to remember our experiences and the miracles in our family. We ended up making the poster that's in the picture below. We all traced our hands and made a circle out of them, and then put a big red heart in the center that says "Miracles Happen." Mom's currently working on getting it framed, and then it will be displayed for all of us to see. It will be a wonderful reminder of this time of my life.

I guess I should explain the circle sign - Rachel made it. The "C" could stand for chemo or cancer, but either way it symbolizes the whole experience being done and over with! It's currently hanging upstairs in my room on my closet door.

Along with celebrating, I'm back at school full time. Next week I'll be adding seminary back in as well. I'm slowly, slowly, slowly getting caught up - the process takes forever, but I'm almost there! Math and chemistry are the tough ones, though - there's so many assignments and everything builds on previous chapters, so it's hard to stay with the class when I am in school. I'll get it done, though.

Also with exciting news, for our school's Charity Bash Week this year (we have a ton of activities to raise money for a certain charity during the first week or so of December) I nominated Make-A-Wish. So that's our charity this year. Last year the school raised over 44 thousand dollars for Muscular Dystrophy Association. SO because of that nomination, I've been asked to give a speech at the kick-off assembly (yikes!) and will be in the school newspaper, Bear Facts (double yikes!) as a main article. It will be interesting to see how everything plays out... I actually need to scan in some pix this weekend of my wish and me currently for the Bear Facts article. I had an interview with the person writing it and she had a ton of questions! The interview would have gone way longer than 45 minutes if the bell hadn't rang! She wanted to know my entire medical history (with all the wonderfully complicated technical terms) and moving around and who my siblings were and what I did on my wish and why I'm so positive and why I nominated Make-A-Wish...things like that. There's also a video at the assembly that I need to give pictures to the student council for, but no one has contacted me yet so I don't know what they want or when they want it or what they want me to say at the assembly! Again, it'll be an interesting month.

So that's pretty much everything that's going on. I'm currently eating a chocolate ice cream sandwich (Skinny Cow, very delicious!) and trying not to think too hard about the pear I have to color for art, the essay by Thoreau that I have to analyze for English, or the 100 pages of my US history textbook I need to read to get caught up. No - I'm not stressed at all. Just a little worn out. And not to mention the thirty or so seminary makeups to do.

But it will get done - eventually. Some day.

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers - they have helped to make yet another miracle happen in my life! Here's just a cute picture of me and Rachel:

The Past Few Weeks...

So although this is the last round of chemo, the past few weeks have been less than enjoyable. I somehow managed to get a flu-viral thingy that's basically kept me out of school for two weeks. I had been going to school as much as I could before it, but I still have a TON of make up work to get done - not to mention the work from the days I'm missing now! Especially in my chemistry and AP classes, but the teachers have all been great about makeup work and getting everything done when I feel up to it.
The past two weeks have been pretty miserable: I've been congested, achy, random bouts of nausea, extremely exhausted, and running to the bathroom constantly. So of course, I haven't felt like doing any sort of school work at all. Two Fridays ago, Mom and I went to the hospital to get some fluids because I was up vomiting for a while the night before from this virus, and I ended up getting some blood which helped me perk up for a day or two. But of course it went back to worse. Last Saturday was absolutely awful - I sat around reading pointless fiction all day while I forced myself to try and drink something so I didn't get dehydrated and have to come to the ER and while I walked around the house slowly for fear of collapsing from exhaustion and wasted muscle. But by Sunday afternoon I was feeling much better.
Now it's Tuesday and I'm feeling so much better than I have for a while - not quite fully recovered so I would be able to go to school, but still a lot more energetic than before. And I'm in the hospital getting chemo for the next five days. Getting chemo certainly won't help me feel any better, and sitting in the hospital bed isn't going to make me gain any muscle mass. Oh well. At least it's the last round!!!!!! YAY!!! We're so excited this is almost over. I can't wait until it's time to go home and we can celebrate and I can recover and I can get back to school full time!
I can't believe it's already October! Mom brought some fall decorations to put up in the room instead of her summer luau lanterns. :) It brings a little cheer and variety to the same blue walls in every room.

Quick News!

Sorry I've been such a slacker. I've felt fairly crummy ever since the third round of chemo started and have been busy with school work, etc.
But TODAY we went downtown for a clinic visit and to get the third dose of one drug - velcade - to finish off the round of chemo. Dr. Weinstein (my oncologist) didn't have official scan results last Friday when we were hospitalized, so today she shared the following:

The cancer is GONE!!

So here's the plan: no more fourth doses of velcade (which will hopefully reduce the insomnia) which means I don't have to go back to the hospital for TWO WHOLE WEEKS! That's a new record for the past few months. :) Then we'll do one more round of chemo - a second preventative - just to be sure the cancer stays away. Another five day hospital stay and then the velcade a few days after that. Then after two or three weeks we'll have another CT scan to make sure the cancer is still gone. Dr. Weinstein mentioned that this was perfect timing - the following week she goes on maternity leave!

Thank you so much for all of your thoughts and prayers. This has truly been a miracle! I still can't really believe that the cancer is gone. I know that this was only possible through the faith and prayers of my family and friends. I can't thank you all enough or express how grateful I am to my Heavenly Father for helping me and my family get through this trial.

I will post more about the past week within a few days, but I thought I'd share the good news with you all!

Lyrics to My New Favorite Song

I recently purchased the song "You Know Better Than I," sung by Dallyn Vail Bayles. It was featured in the film Joseph: King of Dreams. This has become my newest favorite song (I have a lot) because of the words.
The song is basically a prayer that Joseph says while he is in the prison. The film shows Joseph upset for a while about all the trials that have happened to him. He eventually humbles himself once he realizes the Lord knows what's best for him. Joseph once again places his trust in the Lord and he is eventually let out of prison and goes on to become one of the most powerful leaders in Egypt.
Below are the lyrics. I am working on getting a song player for my blog, so for now you'll just have to check out the song on YouTube.

I thought I did what's right
I thought I had the answers
I thought I chose the surest road
But that road brought me here
So I put up a fight
And told you how to help me
Now just when I have given up
The truth is coming clear

You know better than I
You know the way
I've let go the need to know why
For You know better than I
If this has been a test
I cannot see the reason
But maybe knowing
I don't know is part of getting through
I tried to do what's best
But faith has made it easy
To see the best thing I can do
Is to put my trust in You.

For, You know better than I
You know the way
I've let go the need to know why
For You know better than I

I saw one cloud and thought it was a sky
I saw a bird and thought that I could follow
But it was You who taught that bird to fly
If I let You reach me
Will You teach me
For You know better than I
You know the way
I've let go the need to know why
I'll take what answers you supply
You know better than I

I Survived!

The first week of school...it's over and I survived (barely)! It was so much fun to see all of my friends after the summer! Everyone gets so tan - I'll never be able to, especially if I'm hospitalized every summer! My insomnia is still a pain, but I managed through the week even though I needed a nap everyday. Mom let me sleep in on Wednesday and Thursday I came home early because of nausea, but Friday I went to every class! I came home for two hours because of an assembly, so I just slept in my own bed instead of the nurse's office. It was so nice to sleep in this morning - I slept until 10:30!

My classes are great, all of my teachers are incredibly nice, and I have a ton of friends in most of my classes. The homework load is horrible, though. I've had to stay up until at least ten every night just so I could get everything done for the next day. I do have a study hall, but I'm always nervous that I won't finish the assignment and I'd prefer to use the study hall for a nap in the nurse's office! :)

Here's the list of my classes (in order of how my day goes): Honors Pre-Calc, Art Foundations, Honors Chemistry, AP United States History, Intro to Drafting, AP English III, and Spanish 4 Honors. I have the most homework in my AP classes and Pre-Calc, but the art and drafting rarely give any homework so it all evens out. I really enjoy art because we're just doing basic drawing right now while we wait for art supplies to be delivered. It's SO relaxing - especially after first period math. In drafting we're doing some basic drawing as well of simple 3D shapes. I can't wait until we get to learn to use the autoCAD computer program!

Tomorrow is church and a seminary kick-off fireside. Seminary starts on Monday - yikes! I'm going to die from lack of sleep! I have a biopsy on Tuesday, a PET scan on Wednesday to see if the cancer has shrunk, and then Friday I'm hospitalized for round#3 of chemo.

I still have a ton of homework to finish up before I go to bed, but I wanted to make sure I at least let you all know how the first week at school went! Below are some pictures - enjoy!

Rachel's first day of freshman year! It's been fun seeing her at school. She's hating geometry and the homework load, but overall I think she's enjoying the high school.

Finishing up some AP US homework during breakfast. Ugh.

Still at home...

I love being at home!

Friday August 21 - We went to the hospital for a quick visit today - I just needed some labs drawn, one chemo drug, and a shot. They had trouble accessing my port which was very traumatic for me and then the nurse used my left arm for the shot, so my entire left shoulder area is incredibly sore. But we got to come home without being admitted! YAY!
The doctor gave me a prescription that should help with my insomnia. So far I've been sleeping all right with it, but it's only really helping me fall asleep. Hopefully the problem will be solved before Tuesday when school starts. I was given an amazingly silky pillowcase that has helped a lot, too!
On Friday I actually went out in public without hair. Mom and I made an impromptu stop on the way home and I had only brought along a hat. I felt like everyone was staring at me, but more importantly I learned just how much heat you lose through your head. The store specializes in fresh produce, so the building is kept fairly cold. I was FREEZING! I also learned that hats can fly off your head a whole lot easier when there isn't hair to hold them down.

Saturday August 22 - I got my actual wig to keep!! The company in California fixed it so that it fits my head a whole lot better. It's a lot more breathable than the loaner wig and so much more comfortable! I wore it the rest of the day (which was only about five hours) to see how long I could last with it on. I also went over to a friend's house where we watched Confessions of a Shopaholic - very funny and practically clean chick flick. It was a great weekend - and the best part was I only got sick once.

Sunday August 23 - And so we reach today. I went to church which is always exciting when you've been gone for five Sundays. I got plenty of hugs and "welcome back"s and it was so much fun to see all of my friends again! Rachel helped me do my wig with a cute braid going off to the side. Lots of people commented on how great my hair looked :) One of the members of the ward is bald and I used to tease him about it (all of the youth do - the other night at our youth activity I told him I couldn't tease him anymore and he just laughed) so I decided to give him a laugh for the day and asked him if he uses soap or shampoo to wash his head. (Honestly, it's something you'd never think about, but I really have no idea what to use. I've just been using shampoo.) He thought it was pretty hilarious and told me he uses soap. We had a family friend over for a while and had family home evening with her - Rachel and Megan were in charge of the lesson and had us act out the story of Nephi and his family going across the desert to get to the Promised Land and how Nephi and Laman and Lemuel had different attitudes about the whole process. Very fun and memorable!

I was supposed to make dinner and some cookies today but ended up passing the dinner on to Megan to make (she wanted to, but Rachel was disappointed that I didn't make breadsticks) and taking a long nap. I did get to make cookies, but I've been feeling nauseous all night so it wasn't as enjoyable as usual.

Tomorrow we go to the hospital for the last of this round of chemo and some other drug that's supposed to prevent some infection. Then the rest of the family goes to the beach while I finish up my math packet and summer reading book. Yuck. And get my backpack all ready which won't take terribly long. I can't believe school is going to start! I'm so excited - and I'm glad the first day is a half day so that I can try out my wig and see how long I last. Not looking forward to the makeup work, but maybe it'll be somewhat light the first week or so. I'm excused from PE (again) so I do have a study hall right before lunch - a nice two-period block I can use to go take a nap in the nurse's office if I need to.

Below is a picture of me with the new wig and no braces! It'll be interesting to see what people say on Tuesday...

More to come later in the week! Thanks for all of your thoughts and prayers - they're working! Cancer be gone!

I'm HOME! Again.

Well, actually, I have been home for 33 hours, but I am trying to finish part of my summer reading book so that I can say I have had a productive day. I got home yesterday around 11:00 am. I took a hot shower, a 3 hour nap, and had salmon and couscous for dinner. A wonderful change from the hospital menu. I only slept 5 hours because two of the drugs cause insomnia and I can't sleep. My current sleeping helps are my iPod and reading my scriptures with the help of a booklight.
This morning I worked on my math packet and now I only have 1 page left! Then I took another nap - only an hour and a half, so hopefully I'll be able to sleep better tonight because I didn't let myself take another nap today. I also went to the high school today to walk through my schedule. I drove for the first time in a while and I couldn't drop myself off at the door, so we had to walk a long way to get into the school. School starts next week on Tuesday!!! Megan got her braces taken off today so Rachel is not incredibly happy (again). We had a wonderful dinner of pot roast and fresh salad that someone brought over. Delicious! You can never get pot roast from the hospital and I don't really trust their salads.
More adventures await tomorrow: going to Old Navy, cleaning out my room, and finishing my summer reading book (yay).
Hopefully Rachel will be able to cure me of my not-updating-blog-itis (Rachel's own word) soon, so that I can continue to keep everyone posted.