home again

First off, this was last night's sunset. Absolutely gorgeous.

Today went like this:

I was awoken at 9 am to take my meds
I talked to my friend who is currently studying in Italy via Skype. needless to say I am beyond jealous
I was quickly interrupted by a doctor coming in saying my biopsy time had been moved from 11:30 to 9:30
I made some phone calls, sent some text messages, then was wheeled down to the cath lab.
They only missed once and got an IV started right next to that weird bone that protrudes from my wrist (someday I'll know what that's called)
And then they put me to sleep. With some anxiety on my part...
quick note: one of the nurses remembers when I had my first heart transplant. so it was fun to talk to her and she was telling the docs all about how I'm so much better at anesthesia than I was when I was eight. but not much. somewhat entertaining... anyways.
Awoke in recovery to see my amazing cousin, Heather!
Slept. Sick a few times. Slept some more. Ate some saltines and apple juice. Slept more.

my cousin, Heather, and me on our way out the door!

Finally, my six hours of lying flat were up and I got to sit and walk around, and an hour later I was out of the hospital with four prescriptions to fill.

Side note: My discharge doctor's name was Dr. Justice. coolest name ever.

Now I get to spend the night at my cousin's house (which is absolutely amazing) and tomorrow I will be back in Provo.

and of course, tonight's sunset. I just really like sunsets, ok?

The results:
Focal mild cellular rejection of third cardiac transplant with possible vascular rejection and mild chronic ischemic changes.
at least that's what my discharge papers say.
basically, it's mild rejection so they get to pound me with prednisone for a week.
which means I will be an irritable, hungry, bloated, moody insomniac for a while. joy.

these are my meds. except for the glass of milk. that's not a med.
just my night time meds.
I have to do this again in the morning. ugh.

Follow-up plan:
Appointment on Friday morning.

But I get to be back. Which is wonderful.

Thank you for all your prayers and support! I am so grateful that this can be treated so easily. I received one dose of prednisone in the hospital and haven't felt the shoulder pain since. Life will be back to normal soon, and I am very grateful for that.

Thanks again, and remember to smile!

story of my life

so the shoulder pain didn't go away this weekend. surprise, surprise.

The docs wanted me to come back in for yet another echo and ECG. After an exam, my transplant doctor decided to admit me for overnight observation. Tomorrow I have a heart cath (biopsy) to check out my coronaries and if there's any rejection.

What we know so far:
the echo from last week showed what might be a bit of pericardial fluid (I think I spelled that right) which is one of the signs of rejection*. which can also cause pain.

What we have no idea about:
everything else. everyone is pretty bewildered.

The current plan:
Spend the night in a hospital and have a heart cath tomorrow.

The bright side:
There haven't been orders to start an IV. I can see mountains out of the room. I have a private room with a large bathroom and shower.

a room with a view. lovely.

*rejection: organ transplant patients must take medication that suppresses the immune system. otherwise, the body will recognize the transplanted organ as a foreign body and try to attack it. at times the body attacks the organ for inexplicable reasons and dosages need to be adjusted.

So we have some ideas. Which is better than absolutely nothing. Still, my health continues to mystify me, my doctors, and everyone else. oh well. that's just life I guess.

The rest of the day will be spent with homework and sleep. And nurses and doctors. And keeping my family updated on what's going on. Thrilling.

Thanks for your love and prayers!! Have a fantastic Monday (SMILE!) and I will keep you all updated as this goes on.

the fellowship of the unashamed

I absolutely love Elder Holland. Tonight he gave a fireside address to the young single adults. It was incredible. If you have the opportunity, you should take the 45 minutes or so to watch it. Or wait for it to be available by text, but you'll miss a lot without seeing or hearing Elder Holland's expression.

Two things that stood out to me:
NEVER check your religion at the door! 
"When He comes, I so want to be caught living the gospel. I want to be surprised right in the act..."

Simon Dewey: The Lord is My Shepherd

The fireside reminded a friend of this short passage entitled "The Fellowship of the Unashamed" that I just love. I believe it is by President Henry B. Eyring, but I'm not positive.

I am a part of the fellowship of the unashamed.

The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made.

I am a disciple of Jesus Christ.

I won't look back, let up, slow down, or be still.

My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, and my future is secure.

I'm finished with low living, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed visions, worldly talking, cheap giving, or dwarfed goals.

I no longer need pre-eminence, positions, promotions, plaudits, or popularity.

I don't have to be right, first, recognized, praised, regarded, or rewarded.

I now live by faith, lean on His presence, walk with patience, am uplifted by prayer, and labor with power.

My face is set, my gait is fast, my goal is heaven.

My road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions are few, my guide is reliable, my mission clear. 

I cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, divided, or delayed. 

I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of the adversary, negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity.

I won't give up, shut up, or let up until I have stayed up, stored up, and paid up for the cause of Christ.

I must go until He comes, give until I drop, preach until all know, and work until He stops me.

And when He returns for His own, He'll have no problem recognizing me. 

My banner will be clear.

I will not be ashamed.

keep calm and pretend you're at the beach

The Oregon Coast is one of my happy places. I absolutely love Cannon Beach; all of the fun memories, the sound of crashing waves, and the stunning sunsets. We got to spend a few days at the beach while visiting my grandparents. There isn't much to say except for everyone should come here at some point in my life.
ps: these are slightly out of order but I don't have the patience to drag them all around. 

knee deep in the water somewhere

Acquire game nights. such a great game. Rachel losing horribly while the ever-winning Grandpa and Nathan count their cash.

hey let's be birds!

we got wet. 

we take lots of walks along the beach. 

seriously have the cutest little brother ever.

mom and grandpa 

heart on the beach in honor of dad.
story: dad makes a heart in the sand for mom whenever we're at the beach. I love it. 

walking along the streets of Cannon Beach. love this town.

the greatest toy store. ever.

greatest kite shop.

the boardwalk up to the beach

the Scout, his fire, and his mom

on a nature walk... 

blue sky, breeze blowing wind in my hair

on the nature walk. next to the roots of a tree that fell over a few years ago. 

I think I might have found me my own kind of paradise.

See you real soon Cannon Beach. 

the waiting game

On Monday evening I developed a sharp pain in my left shoulder. Thinking it was a pulled muscle, I thought nothing of it. But the pain had not diminished by Wednesday morning.

For most people, shoulder pain is no big deal. The last time I had pain in my left shoulder, however, I ended up having severe blockages in my coronary arteries. The last time I had inexplicable pain I ended up having another bout of cancer. So for me, pain that doesn't go away is kind of a concern.

After talking with my mom and the transplant team up in Salt Lake, we decided I needed to go to the ER up at Primary Children's. One of my [amazing] friends was able to drive me there and ended up staying to see the results of all the testing.

After having labs drawn, getting an IV started, flushing fluids into me, having a chest x-ray, echo, and ECG, we waited for about an hour and a half before the results came back.

Results: everything checked out perfectly. of course. So they sent me home.

We still don't know what the pain is. If it's still there on Monday I will be heading back up to Salt Lake for a biopsy and possibly other tests to see what's going on. And so we keep on waiting...

this post needed something brighter.
no worries.

A few thoughts from the day:

• I have the greatest friends ever. I couldn't ask for better people. 
• I am so grateful for the power of the Priesthood. I wouldn't be here today without the blessings I have been given so often.
• Country music is the best thing ever. I particularly love this song right now.
• Modern medicine is absolutely incredible. Even if it can't figure out everything.
• I'm 99% positive I don't want to study medicine.
• I love Utah. I love the mountains. I love being at BYU. I love that the weather is cooling off.

Life is pretty great right now. 
relatively speaking...

shots of summer

heading back to Illinois... the flat lands

back in Chicago and it feels so good.
also my little brother is (almost) taller than me. I am not ok with that.

sisters :)

on the lovely Lake Michigan. not quite the ocean, but still plenty of fun.

me and my daddy

with my mom :)

wishes for our dear cousin, Sammy, on her birthday!

brought along to band camp for the second year in a row.
at least I got some ice cream out of it.

trip to Oregon. aka my happy place.
{post on those adventures coming later}

seeing my lovely grandparents while in Oregon.

our camping trip. in our backyard. we like to go hardcore. 

...and then we all squished into the big tent. leaving an empty little tent.
it was totally worth it. 

trip to Culver's to celebrate the end of summer and the beginning of the school year!

I updated the "Rules of Summer" list. Pretty productive if you ask me.

here's to summer 2012.

may the upcoming months be just as memorable.